HELP! I'm a stay at home mom and I need out...

My friend texted and asked if my husband and I would like to go away with them for their anniversary in a couple weeks....YES!!  I got excited at the thought of breathing in air that wasn't inside my house, or Ohio for that matter.  I texted my husband saying we should go and what do I get back???
Sorry babe, my sous chef requested off those days.  (My husband is an executive chef)
I begged him to make it work, but he can't.  He has responsibilities.  I get it, but I need a break!  Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and I love that I don't have to pawn them off onto a sitter every day or scramble to ask for days off for doctors appointments, school activities, and more.  I am blessed to be able to be here full-time.  Some parents don't have that luxury, so I'm not trying to complain about my freedom here.  I am being real.

LET ME BACK UP HERE....
I recently went from being a "contracted employee" to a full-time stay at home mom.  I loved what I did, but it was no longer bringing life to me or the organization I worked with.  It was time for a mutual split upon the completion of my contract.  It was a healthy decision, but not an easy one.  It is hard to say goodbye to something I've known for three years.  They created/offered an internship for me before what I do became the big thing in our area.  They took a chance that I would be able to help them, and for that I'm grateful.  It opened up so many doors that I never would've gotten through if not for them.  But now, it's all silent on that front.  I'm not in the picture anymore and that is a hard transition to make.

BACK TO THE RANT....
Handling my house, school drop-off/pick up line, and kids all week gets a bit redundant.  I am someone who likes a challenge, outside of the house.  Maybe it's adventure I'm looking for. My kids are challenging enough, yes, but I like to have something new to conquer or explore every now and then. (And not just the adventure of building a blanket fort just to have it fall when the 5yr. old touches it.)  Not that that's not riveting...

I want to be given an opportunity for growth in a skill, not just as a person.  I am challenged enough with that every day.  I also know that my identity is NOT in what I do, but who I am.  Saying that, I still have needs that I would like to fulfill.  Being a mom shouldn't have to be redundant, boring, and isolating.  We become so very isolated because our kids' schedules interfere with getting away and having freedom throughout the day to be free to learn a new skill, volunteer, meet with friends, or even travel.

If you're like me and have kids in pre-k, elementary, and middle school, you probably feel me.  They have three different schedules, one being a half day, which is kind of sucky when you want to make plans for more than two or three hours at a time.  What are we supposed to do when we don't work?  Pay a sitter to keep them so we can "play"?  That's putting money out when it's not coming in.
I've done that though...and I'm okay with it for now.

I need out of the house and the mundane redundancy of parenting in order to be the healthiest person I can be.  I want to go hiking or climb a rock wall.  I want to learn to paint and do handy work.  I am always wanting to learn and grow, but not sure how when the responsibility to my children is my top priority by choice.  Quality time with my husband and family come above all activities and I can't be selfish about my time when they're home, but I also need to feed myself in order to stay true to me.

This is a book that I've come to LOVE!!  It helps me put these things into perspective... "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown.
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/gifts-of-imperfection-bren-brown/1100265967?ean=9781592858491&pcta=u&st=SEM&sid=BNB_DRS_DSA+-+Catch+All_00000000&2sid=Google_b&sourceId=SEGoS210&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-6fMlq2w2AIV1LjACh0SZQB_EAAYAiAAEgK4ufD_BwE#/

What do you all do?  Have you transitioned from career woman to mom?

Are you part of groups, classes, etc?  Do you drink a lot? (haha)

I'm interested.  Hit me up with your stories...  Thanks

Lisa

Sexual assault, sexual misconduct, and the "gray area"

WHAT NOW?

The news has been consumed with stories of men in high places being accused of behaviors involving sexual misconduct, leaving victims of sexual assault/abuse/misconduct, and inappropriate flirting feeling a bit overwhelmed and confused.

As a victim of sexual assault, I find myself becoming very emotional at the news of man after man falling from their ivory tower of control.  The one that got me is Matt Lauer.  I am an avid viewer of the Today Show.  Everyone has their faults, but I enjoyed watching Matt over the years.  I was shocked and extremely disappointed to hear that he had wielded his power over women for years.  I felt betrayed.  

Betrayed?  Really Lisa?  You don't even know the man...

Well, here's the thing.  We all have people that we admire or that become part of our daily lives in some form.  It can be a friend, teacher, boss, neighbor, youth leader, or television personality.  Regardless of the depth of the relationship, a pattern of trust and expectation is formed over time.  Hearing about Matt threw me.  I was angry with him because he wasn't who I thought he was.  (sad but true)

In my case, I am still grieving the loss of the idea I had about the people in my cases.  Yes, cases.  I thought I could trust them.  I thought I was safe.  That was a lie.

How many of us have realized that someone is not who they portray themselves to be?  Probably most of us.  This story brought up so many emotions for me.  For me, this story specifically hit close to my heart and caused me to evaluate people in my life all over again.  Maybe I can't trust anyone.  Maybe the people who are seemingly kind, charismatic, and intelligent are the ones who will likely betray our trust at some point.  Are they also grooming ones to be susceptible to their advances in the future?  Are we being baited by the snowball that starts as goofing off, then becomes dirty comments, then becomes inappropriate touching, then full out assault?   Will we be "snowballed"?

I think about the guys/men over the years that I have been around, and worked with, that have flirted with me, made sexual comments, or touched me inappropriately, and I am conflicted.  I went to HR/leadership in two cases and nothing was done to protect me.  The men were either "spoken to" or not dealt with at all.  I was made to feel like it was either my fault or being blown out of proportion.  

Will all of these firings in the news actually bring change?  For the companies in the public eye, yes, change is happening.  However, what about the small town people who have nobody to hold them accountable?  If young men and women like myself find their voice and speak up will they be greeted with the same "open door" responses from their bosses?  Or...will it be overlooked because it was the first time?  Or...is the person in question too valuable to the company to loose, so they brush it off as a "misunderstanding"?  

How is the everyday hard working person supposed to feel safe and confident enough to stand up for his/her self when there is not a public spotlight on their situation?  How do we identify simple banter from flirting?  How do we know when something is worth reporting?  If we say we were forced into something will we be labeled as "weak" or "too sensitive"?  

Is there a gray area that is okay to reside in or is it always black and white?  Does anyone have the answer?  I'd like to know.  I'm thrilled that this conversation is happening, but if action is not taken for the "little guy", what good does it do?  

People in politics and Hollywood are being exposed and called to take responsibility, but who will call for the same in the small rural towns of this great nation?  Me?  You?  

I'm curious to hear your stories.  What have you encountered?  How have you handled it?  Does the news trigger emotions for you?